Dear Mom in Row K,

  8-10-13

Dear Mom in Row K,

 

I realize that your tickets for Taming of the Shrew were expensive. I thank you for exposing your children to the arts at a young age. However, I don't think you took into consideration the length of tonight's performance. Who the hell brings a four year old to a three hour Shakespeare play?! Are you effing crazy?!!

 

Yes... I think you are. You're either nuts or you're the most inconsiderate human being I've ever had the pleasure of sitting by. You did nothing when your kid screamed his head off during Act 5.

"WHAT TIME IS IT? I'M SO BORED! I HATE THIS! I WANNA GO HOME!!!"

 

You know what, kid? We want you to go home too!

 

You did nothing when your son proceeded to kick everyone sitting around him. (Including the man sitting in front of him who he kicked squarely in the back of the head.) I also want to point out that you never apologized for his ill behavior. You instead bribed your child with the promise of ice cream later. The kid's behavior that night was bad but it's not the reason I'm compelled to write this blog. It was your complete lack of caring for your fellow audience members. We also paid a lot for our tickets.

 

Your daughter, who was about seven years old, I can guess, was a delightful audience member and I applaud you for her behavior. She was quiet and polite. The jokes may have gone over her head but she was able to sit through the long first act without a peep. When the ticket blurb says for ages 8 and up it's not just for the sake of you. It's for the sake of the rest of the audience who has to sit around you.

 

And if you're going to bring a four year old into a three hour play without dancing dinosaurs, you better be prepared to handle some serious parenting. Your kid will be bored. His bladder will not be able to handle the huge chunks of time or the lack of snacks.

 

Thanks for ruining the ending of the play for us.

 

 

Sincerley,

Everyone who sat around you on the night of September 28th


Related articles:

letter, audience

Comments

  • Manda
    08 October 2013

    I am surprised no staff asked her to leave!

  • Natasha
    08 October 2013

    F-ing crazy sounds about right!! I would absolutely hate to be sitting around her, especially for such expensive show! How inconsiderate!! I like your style of writing btw.

  • Meaghan
    08 October 2013

    The staff did ask. Twice. She said no because the tickets were too expensive. That's why a lot of people got really mad. She just didn't care.

  • Henry
    08 October 2013

    Ban all the childrens.

  • Hannah
    11 October 2013

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    I hope she reads this, soooo weak

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